I regret nothing
by readitandmeep
Summary: 'Maybe a few words at my funeral wouldn't hurt. After all, one Daffy duck expression or another might not be so bad..' What if Nick really did have cancer? Set during 'Injured'.


**Just a little something I thought of after watching 'Injured. Enjoy, folks.**

* * *

"I'm sorry to say this, but from the results of the ultrasound, you have Anaplastic thyroid cancer."

I stared dumbfounded at Sadie, not quite absorbing the new information into my brain just yet.

"..Very uncommon, compared to Papillary or even Medullary thyroid cancer.."

I didn't pay much attention to all of the medical stuff she was saying, and drowned myself into my thoughts.

_Cancer_. This was a big impact on my life.. Who knows how long it'll last before Schmidt, Winston, or maybe even Cece will get to speak at my funeral?

_What about Jess?_ I asked myself. No, definitely not Jess. Even if Cece was allowed to speak, despite the fact that I've only known her for awhile, having Jess even say _anything_ at my funeral is a big no no.

_That's despicable!_ Jess's Daffy duck impression rang in my thoughts, and I had to stop myself from groaning out loud.

"..Usually when the old cells don't die, they form into a growth or tumor.." The OB/GYN continued explaining, and I nodded occasionally, although I failed to understand anything other than the fact that I have cancer. That was all that registered in my mind.

'_It's probably nothing..'_ Jess had said yesterday. If only that were true, but then again, I have been expecting this for some time now.

I've written half a book about zombies _and _once drank 30 bottles of beer in a row. At least I've accomplished _that_ much in my life, right?

".. Highly abnormal and difficult to recognize. It's very difficult to control, as the cancer cells tend to spread quickly." She explained solemnly, and rested her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm very sorry, but there's nothing that can be done." She said, and actually, I'm not very surprised. "You can come back tomorrow for your proper medication, but right now, all I can do is pray for your well-being."

I nodded and tried to shake off the huge weight on my chest that was beginning to build up.

"You seem to be taking this very well." She commented.

"Well, I've kinda been expecting this for a while now." I shrugged. "No use crying over it."

"You should get back to Jess and your friends now." She bit her lip, as if fearing that anything she says could break me emotionally.

"Yeah." I stood up and shook Sadie's hand. I'm pretty sure she said something like 'Be careful with telling Jess', but it all came out too fast from her mouth.

"Thanks, doc." I said sincerely, and she gave me a knowing look full of sympathy.

I left the room, and all that kept bothering me,

Was how the hell was I going to tell everyone downstairs?

* * *

"How long does it take to find out if someone has cancer or not?" Schmidt complained nervously.

When they noticed my arrival, all heads turned uneasily towards me.

'_I'm not okay. The doc' said I got cancer.'_ I wanted to break it to them, to just freakin tell them the result of the ultrasound..

But even being the blunt, straightforward person I am, I just couldn't.

"I'm okay." I lied. "I'm fine, i'm fine."

"I didn't hear anything after the doctor announced that I didn't have cancer."

And yet those lies were enough to relieve all of them, enough to let them think that everything was going to be okay, that I'm fine.

Jess's reassured cheery face was the complete opposite of what should've been.

"Now.. for the bill." I reached for my pocket, but was stopped by Cece.

"It's all taken care of." She assured me.

"What do you mean?"

"We split the bill."

I glanced around at all of them, and they gave a knowing smile. I felt the weight on my chest slightly disappear. These guys.. they really did have my back, and I consider myself lucky to have them. After hearing the news, this should be the first time I've felt somewhat happy.

And then the weight became twice as heavy. I never knew how much I was going to be leaving behind.

We left the clinic shortly after that, with Schmidt saying something or another about giving me a wallet.

* * *

"Come on, it's back to the apartment."

All of us bustled inside the car, and Winston tried to start the engine.

And then I asked myself, what happened last night?

I remember waking up in a beach, and I don't know what the hell we were doing there in the first place. My clothes were all wet and smelled salty, and Schmidt and Cece were all cuddled up together.

Although, there _was_ one thing I remember..

"Hey, Jess, what happened last night?"

'_Yes, I like you a lot. I really do, and I'm glad you're around.'_

She smiled knowingly, and so did I.

'_I'm not gonna remember any of this when I wake up tomorrow, huh?'_

'_No, no you won't.'_

Maybe a few words at my funeral wouldn't hurt. After all, one Daffy duck expression or another might not be so bad.

The car engine growled, and went dead. Winston tried again, and with still no luck, all of us decided to walk the way back.

And of course, Winston didn't want to.

"Wait, it just needs a little push, is all.." Winston fussed, starting the engine again.

"Let it go, buddy." I called as he was left with no choice, saying good bye to his car. Jess held onto my arm as we walked, and I smiled at the contact.

So what if I didn't know what was going to happen? Maybe right now I'm actually willing to jump into this.

'_Nick Miller, Nick Miller, never does anything..'_

Hey, I beg to differ.

I consider last night as a great accomplishment, mind you.


End file.
